Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Lost and Found

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. It was found
by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her
purse, she commented: "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag
there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are 20 $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied: "That's right, lady. The last time I
found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Dog and The Leopard

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa.  He took his
faithful pet dog along for company.  One day the dog starts
chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is
lost.  So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly
in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep doo doo now."

Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and
immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to
the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly,
"Man, that was one delicious leopard.  I wonder if there are any
more around here?"  Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in
mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away
into the trees.

"Whew," says the leopard, "That was close.
That dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and
trade it for protection from the leopard.

So, off he goes.  But the dog saw him heading after the leopard
with great speed, and figured that something must be up.  The
monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says,
"Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to
that conniving canine."

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back,
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"

But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his
attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.

Just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says,

"Where's that monkey.  I just can never trust him.
I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard,
and he's still not back!!"

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

>

Every doctor will someday need a doctor
Every preacher will someday need a preacher
Every teacher will someday need a teacher
Every mortician will someday need a mortician

No matter how much we know and have,
we all will need someone and something greater than us.

~E. J. O'Neil~